It’s been a freaking while, thats for sure. I started this blog early last year, with all these grand plans to post once, maybe twice a week with something interesting to say each time. I expected to have all this free time to not only sit and write a post, but to take pictures and attach those too – my 3 night a week work schedule, planning an out-of-state wedding, and looking for a house all clearly meant I would have enough free time to actually do this.
Boy was I sooooooooo wrong.
When I did have “down time” (which, by the way, was like 30-45 minutes some days), I would use that time to either take a nap, eat a quick snack, or freshen up before moving on to the next task I had to get done that day. Sometimes I would be able to sit down for just a quick moment and I would often find myself searching my blog, something that I hadn’t touched in so long.
Then I would quickly close my internet browser because I felt overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with so many emotions. I was mad at myself for not “putting and time or effort” into the blog (as I look back on it now, all my time and effort was in all other areas of my life). I was sad that I hadn’t posted, because it really did make me happy to have this as my hobby, even though it was seeming to be a short-lived one. I felt guilty for starting out strong, then stopping, then pretending I was starting again, only to have stopped because life was really getting overwhelming in general. I felt defeated because when I first started I didn’t think I was interesting enough, and I was anxious about my first post because I wanted people to take me seriously – I worked up the courage and made a few posts and loved it, only to feel like I’ve let myself down and I quit.
I’m an incredibly emotional person. I’m sure my husband (love saying that now!) can certainly agree. It is probably my best quality but also my worst. My emotions allow me to really offer compassion and empathy to all people I encounter in my life, but I often get those negative emotions that really affect my life – and they sometimes can be all consuming. Each time I took a look at this blog, I would get flooded with all of those negative emotions, and I had to quickly remove them so it doesn’t ruin it for me. I didn’t want something that made me happy to turn into something that only made me upset. So no stress about the blog = no negative emotions.
I married my best friend this month. It was absolutely amazing. We have been living in our new house since May. That’s been amazing too. And last week we just added a new friend to our family, our cute German Shepherd/Border Collie Mix, Oakley. He’s seriously the best dog already. So there have been SO many good things in my life, and I feel like I am finally able to really enjoy all of the positive emotions surrounding each one.
I want to write on here more. I plan to. I want to write about all the things that make me happy in my life, but all the things that make me, me – which means this post is especially fitting, as my perspective, my feelings, my triumphs, and my failures, all make me, me.
I am focusing on living a happy life with my husband and our new pup, in a beautiful home that we can call ours. I am focusing on personal wellness and getting healthy again, so I can be the best version of myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Life is busy. Always has been, always will be, no matter who you are or what you are going through. Learning how to manage the busyness and everything that comes with it is what I am looking forward to. I can’t wait to share more about everything that’s happened the last few months, and what is next to come. I finally feel like I can say this, with confidence:
I’m back y’all!